Silent Rage (1982) - Video Review

Remake This!

Thanks to the vast collection of Hollywood remakes (of varying quality), I had an odd experience this morning driving home from my 3rd shift job and listening to the radio.

Stay with me, this will make sense.

I’m way into 1980’s ballads, probably on a pathological level, and found Night Ranger playing on a 70’s and 80’s station. As I belted out “Sister Christian” in my beat-up 2003 Toyota Corolla, it occurred to me that the last time I heard this awesome hair band song, a hapless teenager got killed in the woods by Jason Voorhes.  I even found myself looking over my shoulder to make sure a hockey-mask wielding psycho wasn’t nearby.  See, in the 2009 remake of “Friday the 13^th”, this oddly out-of-place song was playing on the iPod of a minor character, who wanders off into the woods to meet his demise.  I didn’t catch the 2009 “Friday the 13^th” film in theaters, but I rented it at some point and had mixed feelings.

Nostalgia aside, the movie had promise. It certainly opened with a bang, packing the original two F13 films into the first act.  Once it ventured into new territory, it became every other slasher while re-writing the rules of Jason and his methods.  This is not a review of that film, however.  I just started thinking about it because of that 80’s power ballad. Then it got me to thinking about the many remakes, most of which are so bad I’d rather spend the day watching the Syfy channel and their crappy CGI.  At least they know they’re bad, and wear the badge proudly.

I’m not going to beat up too much on Friday the 13^th. At least they deserve credit for trying something new. They removed his almost supernatural vibe and gave him a more real-world background. In the remake/reboot, he has these underground tunnels that he uses now to sneak around the campground and pop up randomly to catch someone trying to get away.  I miss the old Jason, the one who you couldn’t explain why he just jumps up at the worst moment, and ends the life of some minor character who shouldn’t have been having sex and smoking weed. Overall, the remake was kind of, “meh”. 

For the record, I’m focusing this discussion on horror and B-movie material here. That means “Robocop”, “Total Recall”, and “Magnificent Seven”…you are safe.

I’m mostly disenfranchised with the other ones. “Nightmare on Elm Street”, “Halloween”, “House of Wax”, “Carrie”, I’m talking to you.

Hollywood is fresh out of ideas, it seems.  They keep dipping into the well and re-doing our 70’s and 80’s movies, even to the point some of them are doing it again.  Soon expect yet another Friday reboot, as well as “Halloween”.  The originals were pretty much perfect. Leave them alone.

The only way I’m going to give Friday another dime is if they do a direct continuity proper sequel. Bonus points for bringing back Kane Hodder. He friggin’ IS Jason. I would like to see them even get Corey Feldman to go head-to-head with Jason. That would rock so hard, and it would keep him from making odd music videos for a bit.  Come on, Paramount and New Line, get on this!

As I said, the originals were flawless. Weren’t they? Hmmm, maybe it’s my nostalgia goggles. I did re-watch “Halloween” (1979) a couple of years ago, when it played during the titular holiday. I found it to be highly effective still, with a grainy, almost “found-footage” documentary quality to it that was unsettling. Truth be told, it’s not even that bloody. Were it not for the nudity, the movie could be made today and get maybe a PG-13 in the USA, if not PG.  It’s fairly bloodless, choosing instead to scare you by building an incredible amount of tension, and Jamie Lee Curtis knocks it out of the park with just the right amount of smarts and vulnerability to be likable.

If this were remade today, shot-for-shot, kids probably wouldn’t “get” it. This is a different time, different culture for sure.  Which is why the recent remakes are being made, after all. They are not to take our money; it’s to get the current crop of teens who they are banking hasn’t seen the original.  Thing is, both of my sons (now 20 and 26) have seen the older movies I grew up with, and listened to the music I consider good. My oldest son not only helped write the book on B-Movies, but he is the only millennial with Johnny Cash on his iPod, and my younger son won a trivia contest at 16 when they played snippets of what they called ‘old music’, and he was the only one who knew The Who, Bob Dylan, and The Eagles, because they have an awesome dad, but I digress.

The point is, studios are making these over and over for two reasons. One, it’s because of how copyright works. If a studio does not release a property within a certain number of years, then the rights revert to the original owner. That is why Fox keeps making bad versions of “Fantastic Four”, instead of letting Marvel rescue it, but that’s another blog for another time.  And two, the material gets an updated facelift, bringing the quality up to what kids today expect. My younger son has seen the original “Robocop”, for example, as well as the PG-13 remake, and swears the remake is 100 times better.  Thing is, on a technical level he’s not wrong. The effects and to a degree the acting is better. What’s missing is Verehoven’s pointed social commentary and the extreme violence that made the original stand out.  The remake is created with updated CGI and slick editing; of course, it looks better. The 80’s version was cutting-edge in its time, too, but aesthetically and technically, it just can’t compare.

So…if Hollywood suits are bent on remakes from now until Jesus comes back, here are a few that haven’t been remade, but should be:

·         Creature from the Black Lagoon

Hear me out. The original is great. But Universal has remade every other staple monster except this one. Why? We got Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolf-man, Invisible Man, and the Mummy. Why not the Creature? Technology is available to make him amazing.

·         Killers from Space 

Peter Graves carried the original very well, giving it an air of legitimacy. The first half was actually really good, with a James Bond conspiracy-style story that slowly unraveled. The movie didn’t fall apart until we meet the bug-eyed aliens and awkward force-perspective giant insects.

·         Basket Case

The original was difficult to explain to someone who hadn’t seen it. If any movie deserves a resurrection, this could be it

·         The Valley of Gwangi

This could be done with modern special effects and an all-star cast. It’s a can’t-lose formula: Monsters and cowboys. Wait, Cowboys & Aliens didn’t do so well…

·         Yor, the Hunter from the Future

This movie has it all. Dinosaurs, cave men, UFOs, lasers…a proper remake or follow-up would be great. The original only suffered from odd editing, due to the fact that it was originally a mini-series, and producers cut it together to make a feature-length movie which missed some plot points

I’m sure there are many more examples, but it’s late and I seriously need some rest. Did I miss any? Sound off in the comment section!

-Dax

Sci-fi Summer Con 2016

Our book, "Attack of the Killer B's!" made the brochure :-)

Our dealer room. The guy in the grey t-shirt in the background is Robert Midgett, who wrote the great sci-fi book "Vagabonds", which I highly recommend.

You never know what you'll see at these cons

Our dealer table

Another shot of our table

Our setup Saturday morning

My co-author Seth, presenting at our Panel discussion on B-Movies and their Cultural Impact

Our Book is Now Available for Order!

Coming Soon! YAY!

Due this Spring, our book will make a great a addition to the library, coffee table, or bathroom of B-movie fans everywhere!

Ditch Day Massacre (2013)

If you are a child of the 70's or 80's like me, you remember a time when slasher films were all the rage.  Themes connected most of them in a pretty straightforward manner.  There were usually several photogenic teens in the main cast, all grouped together by some event or holiday.  Maybe it was Prom Night, Halloween, Arbor Day, Trash Pickup Day, whatever.  The event was effectively a plot device to put the cast of teens together for an unsupervised period, during which they would drink, get wasted, and have lots of sex.  The plan was always doomed by the antagonist, usually a killer with some agenda motivated by revenge.

As time went on, the killer became the focus of the films.  The bad guy, in a way, became an anti-hero.  Audiences began to root for the bad guy, as strange as that sounds, as the villain became more colorful and more powerful with each successive film.  Consider Freddy from the Nightmare on Elm Street series.  He, along with Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers became so unstoppable that they almost contained a supernatural element.  After a while, it became almost uninteresting because of their invulnerability and the limitless ineptitude of the hapless victims.

Slashers gave way to the more recent "torture porn" genre which I have very little interest in. It's really gore for gore's sake. I'm not opposed to seeing simulated violence, especially if it serves the story. John Carpenter's The Thing is one of the grossest films ever, but it is still awesome.  There has to be a good story, at least some depth, and characterization.  Those elements can make or break a good movie.  Enter Ditch Day Massacre.

The Basic Plot (Minor Spoiler Alert...skip down if you want to avoid plot points)

Less ripoff of teen slasher flicks such as Halloween or the above-mentioned Friday series and more homage to the genre, Ditch Day Massacre provides us with a slasher movie that puts the genre on its ear in a couple of ways.  Without giving away too much, here is a basic run-down.

Jenny, a popular high-school girl with a promising future, is still tortured by an automobile accident from one year ago.  Sensing her depression, and knowing her parents are going to be out for a few convenient days, her boyfriend convinces her to ditch school and throw a party with several friends at her home.  She agrees reluctantly, and soon we have six kids getting together, drinking, and playing party games.  They are being watched by a stalker with some dark intentions.  It is revealed that the killer is a man who was involved in Jenny's accident a year ago, and he lost his family in the wreck.  Jenny was responsible, being too high to remember anything, and evidently drove away.  With her father and his corrupt partner investigating, she never had to pay for her crime, which is a major theme of the movie.  The killer is motivated by revenge for his wife and daughter, though we don't know anything about him before the accident. Maybe he was unbalanced to begin with; we simply don't know. What we do know is that he is fixated on Jenny, and we know why.

The killer, named Vick (Bill Oberst, Jr), captures Jenny's parents, and their fate is ambiguous. He shows no mercy to anyone in his way, even the innocent cougar neighbor who only wanted to flirt with him.  The police station gets a tip from a farmer about the missing dad (his vehicle is on the rural property), and the dad's partner, the mysterious Detective Mann, who has more than a few skeletons in his closet, comes to investigate.  At the villa, the kids all get drunk and split up in twos to play chess.  I'm kidding, they don't play chess, they have sex.  Anyone who has seen an 80's slasher film knows what that means.  Sex normally means you have a giant target on you.  So we've got our horny teens, a nosy neighbor, a curious jerk cop, and a back story / motivation for our killer.

While it sounds like I'm describing every slasher ever made, I'm not. I'm intentionally providing basic plot points and motifs in case you want to see this for yourself.  The writing is much more detailed than what I'm giving here, and this story has surprising depth and characterization.  There are several points that puts this film ahead of others in the genre. First...

THE CAST

Bill Oberst, Jr is "Vick".  Here, Oberst brings his considerable skill as an actor to the table. Most of the time, in this kind of movie the killer is played with either stoicism or over-the-top relish.  Additionally, the killer normally has a mask, lots of makeup, or some kind of physical deformation to flesh out the performance.  Oberst's "Vick" has none of this, save for some scarring from the accident, and Bill plays him with a wide range of emotions.  His eyes convey so much, that with very little or no dialog, the actor shows us rage, elation, remorse, and maybe even some regret showing through.  An actor with the skill to communicate so much without uttering a word deserves accolades, especially in a film where he could just phone it in like everyone else.  For a taste of how quickly he can scare the bejesus out of you in only a minute, go to FaceBook and watch Take This Lollipop.  You will see how he shows anger, hurt, and deviousness all at once.  It's a weird sensation, being impressed, and scared to death at the same time.

Bill spent at least a decade traveling the East Coast doing live theater, performing in all types, from comedy, to musicals, to historical dramas and one-man shows. His years of honing the ability to keep the audience fixed on him pays off here, as he brings a dynamic presence to what could have been just another villainous role.  He makes the viewer feel empathy, even as he commits some of the most horrifying acts.

Katy Foley does a decent job playing "Jenny". She has the job of trying to play a character that is a smart sort of goody-two-shoes without coming across as an insufferable know-it-all, which can't be easy.

Zach Silverman is "Mike", the boyfriend.  He does pretty well, given the material he has.  He comes across as a pretty normal guy for the most part, and despite being the catalyst that provokes Jenny to have the party in the first place, he does seem to care for her.

Gabriel De Santi is "Max".  He is the most likable of the teen cast, and has some of the funniest dialog.

Pandie Suicide as "Trina" is our goth girl with a wild side. She is probably the funniest character besides Max, and in the real world would probably have the greatest chance of survival. She probably puts up the best fight, next to...

Brad Potts as "Officer Mann".  Brad is your cookie-cutter a-hole detective, always yelling at and threatening subordinates.  Potts is an intimidating figure who would make a great drill sergeant.  He often plays policemen and authority figures, and with good reason. He is loud, large, and scary. He chews up and spits out every scene he is in, and is fun to watch.

The rest are all decent, turning in a performance that serves the story well.  While no one here except Brad Potts really has the strong presence to go toe-to-toe with Bill Oberst, overall they did a good job.


TECHNICAL STUFF

Makeup Effects
Josh  and Sierra Russell deserve high praise for their efforts in this.  They earn major props because the creative team opted for physical effects, rather than CGI.  The makeup and prosthetic work make this look superior to modern "A-list" films, which rely too heavily on computer effects, in my opinion.  Violence in Ditch Day is pretty extreme, and the details are there. Much of it was difficult to watch because of the high realism. Vick carries around an ax and uses it regularly to great effect, and makes use of any other tool he finds lying around as well.  In certain sequences, the killer catches victims in, shall we say, compromising positions, presenting more of a challenge to the effects team. That may sound like an odd thing to say, but think about it: an ax going into someone not wearing any clothes and sticking is hard to replicate, but the prosthetic team pulls it off.  Tom Savini would be impressed with this project.  If you don't know who Tom Savini is, then close the browser and go away. Just kidding, don't leave. Please?

There are dismemberments, people getting bashed, stabbed and gutted.  There is a nice reference to at least a couple of movies in this area, including a personal favorite, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, when a character meets his demise via a weed-eater.  Whether the reference is intentional or if I am connecting too many dots is irrelevant; I am just having fun with this movie.

Besides the physical makeup effects, the impact and shock value are aided by...

Sound Design
The sounds in horror movies, especially lower-budget indie flicks, is normally spotty at best.  Here, the mix is perfect, particularly effective in the murder scenes without going overboard.  When a character is gutted at one point, his intestines spill out, and while you don't see everything in every shot, you hear the sound of entrails splatting on the floor. It makes the scene that much more effective.

The great score by Giona Ostinelli is pitch perfect. It scares you in the "jump" scenes, and transitions perfectly from the party scenes to the scares.  During the ending sequence, when our killer gets what's coming to him, the fantastically subtle music along with Bill Oberst's amazing performance, make that scene one of the best.

Art Direction
The production design made a pretty bold choice. The first thing that I noticed about this film was the overall look.  What stands out is how bright everything is. Suburbia is reflected in whites, beige walls, and bright colors.  Were this not a scary movie, it could be a teen show like Party of Five. I know that is a dated reference, but I'm not up on those shows. Sue me.

The thing is, with the house design being so bright and cheerful, and this entire movie taking place in the day time (except the opening scene), the content is that much more shocking.  Kills are done out in the open in broad daylight, often in a cheery well-decorated room.  This makes the movie much more impactful, in my opinion, making me believe this could happen anywhere, even in my home.  In movies that take place at night in a creepy cabin, I'm thinking "OF COURSE, there's a killer there!", but because you don't expect it in upper-middle class Suburbia, it's all the more reason to be scared.



CONTENT
It should be noted that the rating was unavailable to me. This is a new film and may not have yet been reviewed by the MPAA; however, experience tells me in the US it would be likely R if not NC-17.

Gore abounds in this, which is typical for films of the genre.  Additionally, two women and a one man appear nude, so if you are offended by nudity, you should have the 'skip' button handy.  Clearly this is not a movie to put on while the kids are up!

FINAL VERDICT
Ditch Day Massacre pulls no punches and slays your perception of slashers. There is just enough familiarity to make you believe you've seen it all before, and then it slaps you in the face and hangs you up by your ankles.  Longtime fans of slasher flicks will feel like a kid again.  There are many references to classics, from Halloween to The Shining.  If you enjoy this type of movie, you'll get a serious kick out of Ditch Day Massacre.  While the grisly scenes and other content may cause you to hide your eyes occasionally, the story does not just hit you with shocking material with no point.  Morality themes surface repeatedly, including the concept that your past will always come back to find you, and everyone eventually pays for their crime.  Looking through my lens as a Christian, I am able to go along with that motif.  Viewers who are not Christians will also appreciate the karmic message.  Oberst's skill at playing villains with an emotional conflict, along with solid writing and direction place this well above other films in its category. 4/4.

Watch the Trailer Here

DIDJA KNOW?

Though there were no ghosts, paranormal activities, creepy crawlers or fanged critters called for in the script, our villain’s layer was haunted by a real entity, a ghost named Charlene.  According to the property owner “Charlene” is the reason he abandoned living in the large villa. And yes, this is a true story.  During the first location scout, the creative team including producer Megan Waters—unashamed—reached out to the spirits, begging permission to film peacefully. In turn, she promised to return the property back to its original state.  Unfortunately, this didn’t ease Charlene.  Props, car keys, tools, gear, wardrobe and set decorations repeatedly went missing and then would magically reappear.  On the final day, Charlene appeared to the producer during clean up. Charlene gazed directly at the producer and then to the house before disappearing. It was a very chilling moment for Megan as she concluded that she’s finally lost her mind.

One of their most memorable crew members was a fluffy and lovable China Chow named Leo. And like every horror movie pet, Leo liked sugar. Now, lets back up a step. All gore FX in Ditch Day Massacre were practical and executed in the lens. This was the demanded goal and vision of the creative team who wanted to make this film gush crimson goodies like the fangtastic 80’s slasher films it belovedly pays homage to.  Every cast and crew-member, at some point, ended up covered in the FX guru’s bloody concoction or stewed pig guts.  Which brings us to their set dog Leo, who liked to roll in puddles and anything else resembling wet to cool off got past the hot set signs, found a bucket of blood—set where it shouldn’t have been set—plopped down and happily rolled in our fake blood!  After which, he ran free-spiritedly through the house, across the carpet and into nicely linen decorated bedrooms. Leo was so doused that the vet—after realizing that he wasn’t mortally wounded—had to be fully shaved. As this is funny now, at the time this was a dark day on set because the owner of the house was considering shutting the production down. In addition, the silver lining in his buzz cut revealed he had what might be skin cancer. It ended up being good fortune that the horror Gods decided to play this little trick on us. The skin blemishes never would have found had he not playfully rolled in the blood.

10 gallons of fake blood was mixed up on set. Husband and wife FX team Josh and Serria Russell kept their blood mix master recipe a secret. Josh Russell is also a talented singer and songwriter.  His song “An open letter to Taylor Swift” is featured in the film.

The film was shot in 17 days. 

During the final 4 days of production, the crew camped on a remote ranch property.  To keep the crew fed, a refrigerator was placed in the middle of the wilderness and plugged into the RV hook-up.  It was pretty funny to see a bright white fridge in the middle of the desolate wooded area. Cast and crew both posed with the appliance to commemorate the experience.

None of the actors partaking in the beer-chugging scene had ever shotgunned a beer. The punctured beer cans sprayed everywhere and the cast busted up laughing.  The take was used because of it’s authenticity.

LINKS

Ditch Day Massacre Web Site

Check out our interview with Bill Oberst here
For more information, check out Bill Obedrst’s resume at http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2454994/

Also, check out these cool links:

www.billoberstjr.com

www.billoberstjr.blogspot.com

www.twitter.com/billoberstjr

Star Crash (1979)

During the 1930's, 40's, and 50's, films set in space were truly something to behold.  There were such serials as Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers, and countless others.  Kids marveled at their heroes, often made in the same mold as cowboys or swashbuckling heroes and pirates, only set in space.  But by the 1970's, space-themed science fiction films had devolved into a sort of dry, almost depressing genre.  With examples such as 2001: Space Oddysey, Silent Running, and THX1138, audiences often saw a future that was sterile and, well, sort of boring.  It wasn't until the writer/director of the latter film helmed Star Wars that space adventures could be fun again.  After the unquestionable success of Star Wars in 1977, production companies quickly sought ways to cash in on the popularity of the new film. Perhaps this was the dawn of the era of Mock-busters; films intended to look and sound like some already immensely popular movie, only to pull a bait-and-switch on the audience.  Following Star Wars, we were deluged with many similarly-themed movies, with varying degrees of success.  Some were so bad your eyeballs may bleed (see my review of War of the Robots for a painful example), and some were pretty good facsimiles of the original, such as Battlestar Galactica (the 1979 version by Glen Larson, not the recent reboot/remake).  Somewhere in the middle lies a modest little film from producer Roger Cormen, entitled Star Crash.

The Plot

Star Crash follows the exploits of space outlaws Stella Star and her faithful companion Akton.  Stella Star is played by Caroline Munroe, who fans of Ray Herryhausen's Golden Voyage of Sinbad will recognize.  She plays Stella with unbridled enthusiasm and gusto, kicking lots of butt and taking names. Stella could probably win in a fight with Princess Leia.  Akton is played by Marjoe Gortner, a guy whose real-life story is almost as colorful as the pseudo-jedi character he plays here, but more on that later.  In the opening sequence, we see some ship get attacked by odd red blobs in space. The exact nature of the blobs is mysterious, but is bad enough to warrant launching three escape pods. Afterward, we meet our main stars of the movie, already in trouble.

We find them in the beginning of the film trying to outrun the Space Police, who work for the Emperor of the Galaxy, played with regal presence by the awesome Christopher Plummer.  Star Wars fans take note: the Emperor is a good guy this time around.  Anyway, our smugglers are caught and sentenced to separate penal colonies. Stella decides minutes after arriving at hers that working in a prison camp sucks, and that she is going to escape.  With the aid of a few prisoners, she stages an escape, which results in the deaths of pretty much every prisoner but her, along with the guards. After this mass genocide, we see that her efforts and the deaths of countless innocent people were pretty much in vain, because she is quickly picked up by the Emperor's men, who had a change of heart and need her and Akton to retrieve his son, Prince Simon, and discover the Evil Count Zarth Arn's hidden planet and his super-weapon.
 

She is given two assistants, the guys who captured them initially.  We have the faithful robot Elle (pronounced like the letter "L"), and the bald imposing alien cop Thor.  Elle is kind of an odd character. He looks like the love child of Darth Vader and C-3PO and speaks with a cartoonish southern drawl, kind of along the lines of Yosemite Sam.  He has some of the cheesiest lines in the movie, but is at least useful, such as when Stella is marooned on a Hoth-like planet, freezing to death and Elle uses his technologies to slow her heart rate down or some nonsense. Thor becomes a traitor, and is stopped by Akton, who reveals the depth of his jedi-like powers for the first time.  Their fight scene is hilarious, although that was unintentional, I'm sure.

Our heroes track down three escape pods from the first scene and finally locate Prince Simon.  After a battle with troglodyte cave-men, Stella is rescued by Akton, who now is brandishing a strangely familiar weapon I'm going to refer to from now on as a TNL (Totally Not a Lightsaber).  Once the cave-men are dealt with, we also meet the Prince, played by a pre-Knight Rider David Hasselhoff.  Akton reveals to Stella and The Hoff that they are now on the Unknown Planet, the location of Zarth Arn's super-weapon. How he knows it is an unknown planet is not known. Anyway....

They go deeper into the caverns and locate the machines that Zarth Arn has been using to create the giant red space-blob monsters, and find that they have walked into a trap. See, if only they had also stolen Admiral Akbar from Star Wars they would have known it was a trap, but I digress.  Zarth Arn shows up with his men and two awesome stop-motion robots with swords, explains everything to them, and instead of killing them leaves them alone with the two robots. Akton battles them with his TNL, but is mortally wounded. The Hoff, sorry, Prince Fluffy-hair or whatever the crap his name is, takes up the TNL and finishes off the robots.

Then the Emperor shows up, stops the flow of time for three minutes, and rescues them from the planet, which is about to be destroyed by Zarth Arn.  Yes, I said he stopped the flow of time, and that Zarth Arn's evil plan is to destroy his own flipping planet and super-weapon. Believe it or not, this is where the story gets a little weird.

The emperor and his men launch a spectacular attack on Zarth Arn's space station, I'll call TNAD, for Totally Not a DeathStar...OK, I'll admit that joke has run its course.  At any rate, the Emperor's ship shoots missles which break through the windows of the enemy strong-hold without creating any depressurization issues, but that's not the awesome part. Men pop up out of these torpedoes and do battle with Zarth Arn's army. This movie has so much epic-ness.

Sadly, all the good guys die despite the totally awesome human torpedo plan.  So in a last bid for success, the Emperor reveals that Stella has one last chance to save the day by flying a friggin' city into Zarth Arn's space station. It might have proven helpful to know that was an option sooner, lest your men might live, there, Mister Emperor. Who cares, this movie is awesome, and not to be pondered or ruined by things like logic. Stella saved the day, makes out some with the Hoff, and the movie ends. Wow. OK, there's lots to talk about with this one, so pay attention. There will be a test.

Visuals

One thing this movie has going for it is the visual quality. No, it's not up to Star Wars standards obviously, but it has a tremendous visual style that makes it fun to watch.  Everything available for the day was used. You have bluescreen work, matte paintings, stop motion, models, and more. I'm not simply praising the technical level, but the artistic level. Space shots are unique, with multi-colored stars all around.  A viewer on one forum described this approach by saying in this movie, "Space looks like Christmas," and since I can't describe it any better, I'll steal that statement.

Stop-motion characters abound in this film, from the freaky squid-tentacled thing that sentences our heroes to labor camp, the giant female robot guard (complete with giant metal breasts), to the two robot swordsmen who battle our heroes in the end.  The movie is not only copying, but paying loving homage to the stop-motion film of Harryhausen, to include the Sinbad franchise and others.  If some parts of the movie were amateurish, at least the stop-motion effects were well-conceived and tediously crafted.

Dogfights in space are not bad. The movie gets credit from me for the camera work here. Most films of the era depicted ships from the side only, and have the background plate with stars moving quickly past. Here, the backgrounds are mostly stationary, and ships move toward the viewer at a forced perspective angle, fly overhead, and even bank and turn as they would in much bigger productions.  Lots of model work is used, and blown up with sadistic glee in Star Crash. While some shots were directly copied from the Death Star Run in Star Wars, I think of it as more of a tip of the hat than a direct ripoff.

Sets and costumes are intricate and beautifully crafted as well.  Simply put, this is a gorgeous movie to watch.  The color palette, the set design, and overall look put this Star Wars Knockoff above the rest.

Acting

I give praise to Christopher Plummer because he is grandiose in everything he does. He has played Captain Von Trapp in The Sound of Music, a Klingon general in Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country, and many other memorable roles.  He delivers even the most bizarre dialog in this film with the strong presence and eloquent sincerity that he brings every role, and keeps this film from slipping into self-aware goofiness.  David Hasselhoff is not in this enough to really say too much about. He did alright, playing a heroic character without being too hammy or trying to steal scenes.  Caroline Munroe is pretty good in this, although she is not really required to show much range.  Her character is sort of a blend of Han Solo and Princess Leia. The producers of the film wanted her to wear less and less, but to keep the film marketable, the production company thankfully kept her clothed.

She is pretty, and it is always nice to see characters that show you can be nice-looking and tough, and not need a man to save her. The only complaint with her, acting-wise, is how she seems so darn happy all the time. Everyone goes around with a huge grin in fact. Akton, Zarth Arn, Stella...the only ones who do not are Plummer, who is always focused and serious, and the silly southern-talking robot.  The tone of the movie is just so dog-gone light everyone seems to be having a good time, which you will, too. Keep Star Crash handy for when you are in a bad mood. It will perk you up.

Akton is played with flamboyant energy by the great Marjoe Gortner. Marjoe seemed awfully familiar to me, so I did some research on him and turned up a documentary from the 1970's in which he shows film makers a behind-the-scenes look at traveling evangelicals.  The documentary is highly unsympathetic to people in this trade, focusing on the types who are only in it for the money, making no distinction between seedy fakes and those who genuinely want to share God's love.  It was on this circuit that Gortner honed his stage presence and his ability to keep the interest of anyone watching him. It shows in his performance in Star Crash, as you'll find yourself almost transfixed on him whenever he is on-screen. He is a dynamic presence who commands your attention at all times.  It's a pity he didn't go on and do more movies and television than he did.

Distribution

When this was released in the United States, everyone re-dubbed their lines.  This is not uncommon for a variety of reasons. Many older films were shot without sound, and had to be mixed later. Sometimes, a film is shot with sound, but conditions keep the actors from being clear, so loop recording happens later as well. Everyone dubbed their own lines except Munroe, who producers did not want to spend the money on to fly her to America.  Instead, all of her dialog is recorded by Candy Clark, who was Marjoe Gortner's wife at the time.  Subsequently, on occasion, Stella exclaims things with a slight American Southern twang.

The film is available on DVD as part of Roger Cormen's Cult Classics, sometimes packaged with Battle Beyond the Stars, an inferior Star Wars clone.  This one is highly recommended for lovers of B-Movie sci-fi fare, and may whet your appetite for badly-directed space films until J.J. Abrams finishes the new Star Wars film. Final rating: Four out of four-a perfect blend of science fiction, cheese, and sincerity.